For some strange reason, my expectations of everything seem to be too high, and seriously I am really trying to work on that. For 1/2 a century I truly believe that I have always put others before myself. Don't get me wrong I love to share and love giving, but when I feel it is my "turn" to receive some personal attention or a little bit of kindness, it never seems to come. If it does, it appears to be out of guilt, or some Blackberry or IPhone reminded someone to check to see if I am still alive! Well of course I get disappointing results when expectations are too high, and know it is my own damn fault! I am actually fortunate that I am finally learning to stop "giving," so much, and take a step back. I have never given to receive, but I guess I can't handle the feelings when it always seem "to me" to be only one-way. There again, that is also the giver's fault.
I actually have found that those that have the least, have the most time, patience, and almost the most of everything to give, which is quite strange really when you think about it. Those that have way too much of everything, never seem to have enough of anything, time, patience, understanding, or a sincere sense of sharing.
Weekends are supposed to bring family connections. However nowadays, it is unfortunate that you only get two days to make up for 5 days of lack of connections with family members. Sadly that is the accepted way of beast now too. Parents are so busy driving kids to way too many events, classes, games, social calender events, play dates, that they don't have time for each other, let alone a family get-together. Once upon a time, family was everything, and getting together one day a week to eat, share a laugh, or a story or two, was the highlight of the week. Our family called them, "Soul Sundays," and no one was allowed an excuse not to be at my grandmother's house for dinner, and on time!
Lord, I never thought I would sound like my mother, or let alone her mother, but here I am disappointed in the whole "family" thing in the year 2011. I just hope that all this time spent away from home instead of in it will be enough to supply that needed glue to keep family alive, connected, and together in the year 2111.
